Thinking about things, but not really doing things

SO…I was getting ready the other morning when, for whatever reason, The Shins “Caring is Creepy” popped into my head. I hadn’t listened to the song in a long time, but I thought - you know this can’t be TOTALLY random (although, maybe it is, so let’s just take it all with a grain of salt, shall we?)

I thought about a lot of things, but in terms of determining where this story should begin - here’s the thought that really got me to sit down and start typety-typing away: 

It’s incredibly easy to lie to people. And, I think, for intelligent, thoughtful people, it’s easier to lie to appease the people around you because, honestly, I think a lot of people prefer to be lied to when the truth would hold them accountable for things that they are not prepared to confront. 

Let me explain. 

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Wikipedia says that nostalgia is a “sentimental longing for the past.” Apparently, it was at one point considered a medical condition - a form of melancholy. Ha. But, we all experience it, so perhaps something can be so pervasive as to cease being an affliction, but becomes a part of the human condition.

It’s hard to know how to feel about the past sometimes. In general, I would say that I’m happiest when I can think back on an experience and recognize the growth that’s occurred since. PROGRESS! I like to think everything happens for a reason, so to some extent it makes sense to me that I’m presented with challenges so that I can overcome them and become a better, more complete version of myself. 

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Well, lots of things happening lately. Lots and lots. There will be more details to come, but let’s suffice it to say that it’s been a bit emotional. More so than I would have thought. 

I suppose change is one of those “character building” things. Regardless of whether it’s good or bad, you can’t stop it so you just have to learn to embrace it and make it work. I’ve definitely had things change before, but I think what I’m starting to realize is that, on some level those always felt like things that happened to me rather than things that I decided. I never really felt ownership - it was just like, okay now here is what I have to do. 

In this instance - it’s all me. I’ve unilaterally decided that things needed to change and well, now they are. And ever since I made that decision, I wake up dreading every day. 

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Certainly, I don’t have the same political views as the Cathy family, but they make delicious chicken sandwiches. Do we really need to care that much? And, Boston - you’re not exactly a model of tolerance, so how about you stay out of it? Thanks.